his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize