Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize