sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize