unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
