My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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