I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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