singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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