I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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