I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Someone signed my nipple.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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