Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
