Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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