Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
