FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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