if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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