Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
