There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
