How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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