i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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