sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
