so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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