Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
