I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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