his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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