We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
