but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Text me some of your sweat
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
