Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
NoShamevember. You game?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
