im drinking this country out of the recession.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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