so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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