we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize