Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
