it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
