We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
