My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
