that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I did not marry a roomba.
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