She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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