just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
