Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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