I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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