Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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