I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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