Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
