are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
