Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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