U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
