So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
