2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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