Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
