Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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