I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
