either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize