On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
