I hope mine doesn't look like that
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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