Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
