dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
