there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
As shirtless as possible
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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