ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Blood and glitter go together right?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
