Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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