Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
When are your genitals available?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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