scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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