Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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