She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
