i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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