I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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