don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
