So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
