At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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