I wanna bring you to show and tell
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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