I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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