I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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