How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
